I suppose this story began a little over a year ago. When I expressed to my spouse my interest in exploring the BDSM (Bondage/Dicipline, Domination/Submission, Sadism/Masochism) community & lifestyle. I had been interested in this kinky world for several years and had friends that made it sound so fun & interesting. It made me wonder if perhaps BDSM might be my “cup of tea”. Therefore, I wanted to venture out into the community and learn more about it. At first, I asked my spouse if he would mind me having a “Dominant” in my life to which he responded “why can’t I be your Dominant?”….and that’s how our journey into the lifestyle began.
The first event we went to was called a “meet & greet” and that’s exactly what it was. We met some of the people that made up part of our local kink community & they greeted us with open arms. They were some of nicest people I had ever met and they all seemed so down to earth, responsible and intelligent…far from the sex crazed individuals I was expecting. Looking back, I recall that I was so nervous about meeting these kinky people that I purposely wore a collar around my neck so that they would know I was already “taken” and wouldn’t do anything inappropriate to me. I find that to be so funny thinking about it now, mostly because I now know that nobody in that community would have touched me without my expressed consent and the approval of my spouse.
The next night we attended our first “class” and the night after that we attended our first “play party”. I found the class to be especially fascinating as I had always wondered where people learned how to do these things I had heard of & seen on the web. Things like “flogging” and binding people up with rope and now I knew…they took classes of course! But it was the play party that really lured us in. It was held in a dark space that was set up like a dungeon & had all kinds of dungeon furniture laying about. It was at that party that we got our first real taste of the delicious intensity that this new kinky world had to offer…and…we were hooked. Everywhere we looked someone was being tortured; some were getting spanked with bare hands, while others were bound in rope and hanging from the ceiling and yet others were being whipped with a single tail whip. There was so much going on that it was impossible to see everything but my eyes kept darting all over the room wanting to take it all in. The sounds of screams, smacks and slaps filled the room and like a magnet they drew your attention to those that were making them. For hours we watched and listened in shock and awe. As the night came to an end I realized I had not seen any sexual acts…not a single one and that confused me because I was expecting to see sex everywhere as if on a live porn set. After doing some searching and nosing about, I discovered there were several private rooms that people retreated to after they “played” and I assumed that was where the sexual acts took place, if there were any sexual acts at all. I was amazed and relieved at this. Amazed because it was so different than what I had expected and relieved that sex remained in private as I wasn’t interested in having dozens of strangers watch me have sex…ever.
From that time on we attended every event possible. We got to know as many people as possible. We learned all that we could and soaked up information & knowledge about BDSM like eager little sponges. The first several months in the community were astonishing. Not only was our kink education growing but after nearly two decades together, we were learning so much about each other…all over again. We thought we knew everything about one another but this new world offered new experiences together and new ways of doing things. We had believed we loved each other as much as we possibly could but with this new life came new love that we never even knew existed. We were getting to see each other in ways we never had before and we were falling in love all over again. We began to spend all day in bed together on Sundays…just holding one another, talking and making love. Our profound love for each other was being strengthened even more than we ever thought possible…little did we know that it soon would be tested in the cruelest of ways.
Fears Being Alone 